I. Topic of genuine praise for the paper
(e.g. The use of personal experience on page one nicely adds to your ethos as a reliable authority on the topic.)
II. Two or three of the biggest trouble spots in the paper in decending order:
A. State the problem.
B. Identify where it occurs in the paper.
C. Offer a brief suggestion for improvement.
D. Rinse and repeat.
III. One comment for the student to remember while preparing the next assignment (either something to keep doing or something to look out for).
If you're looking, I have detailed handouts on the anatomry of both end and margin comments created during ym time in the FWO. Email me if you want 'em.